Since Halloween is on it's way...

...here are a few tips to survive a horror movie (more to come)...

• When it seems that you've killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead.


• If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion or who performed necrophilia or satanic practices, move away immediately.


• Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.


• Do not search the basement, especially when the power has just gone out.


• If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they do not know, or if they speak using a voice other than their own, shoot them at once. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. Note: it's unlikely they'll die easy, so be prepared.


• When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off or go off alone.


• If the gang plans a fun midnight party in the town's old abandoned mansion, don't tag along. Especially don't tag along if everyone's going as couples, except you're the odd guy/gal out. And if you're the gang's jokester, you may as well write up your last will and testament while you're driving with them to the place.


• As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.


• Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other domicile of the dead.


• If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.